On resilience and how to cultivate it

Anda Nitu • 31 July 2024

I thought I was resilient...

Until my doctor told me I either needed to be operated for my bad knee, or take a 3-month rest from climbing.

What you might not know about me, is that to make sure my life is balanced, I do bouldering when I'm not with my clients in therapy sessions or studying. I started bouldering when I was 18 and it gave me so many things that I recommend this sport to literally everyone that is interested in bringing in more exercise, mindfulness and fun in their life. Alongside the very obvious healthy things, it gave me friendships, it gave me confidence, and it gave me a hobby that I truly cherish. My life pretty much consisted of work and bouldering, and I was very content with the way things were, so naturally, no matter how much self-regulation techniques I know, when the doctor uttered those words- ''no climbing''- I felt taken aback, and quite furious. What was I going to do now to feel balanced, how was I going to de-stress, what about my already paid membership, and how about meeting my friends ? Was I going to lose all my skill and power that I have achieved with so much hard work? There were many questions and remarks in my head. I realized my reaction was exaggerated, after all I am free to go back to it in just 3 months; still, I couldn't shake the feeling off. I left his office frustrated, and a bit lost.

So how is all this related to resilience?


Well, resilience  is the ability to bounce back or recover from difficult or challenging situations (from Latin verb ''resilire'', or, “to leap back”). It is the capacity to adapt and thrive in the face of adversity, stress, trauma, or significant life changes. For me, not being able to do what I so much like for 3 months felt like I lost something, like a part of my identity was, if not stolen, put on hold. And that's quite difficult. I had always thought I was resilient because it is something I have been cultivating for very long, but this took me by surprise and made me wonder....am I truly resilient, and how can I use this opportunity to exercise my resilience?

 And I had to write about it, because it is such an important topic when considering it can have quite an impact on mental health (1).


Why does resilience matter and why should you think about ways to cultivate it?

  • Resilience helps you cope with stress, adversity, and trauma in a healthy way, reducing the likelihood of developing mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder.
  • Resilience promotes positive coping strategies by making you better equipped to deal with challenges and setbacks, leading to lower levels of psychological distress and better emotional regulation.
  • Resilience fosters adaptive behaviors: people with high levels of resilience are more likely to engage in positive behaviors such as seeking social support, problem-solving effectively, and maintaining a positive outlook, all of which contribute to better mental health (2)
  • Resilience enhances psychological well-being: Research suggests that individuals with greater resilience tend to experience higher levels of life satisfaction, self-esteem, and overall psychological well-being. (3)


How can you cultivate it when something bad happens or, even better, in advance?


 My first thought when I realized that I seriously needed to stop climbing or else I'd have to face an operation was ''I should be able to control my emotions now, and stop being so frustrated''. Luckily, I realized very fast that that was negative self-talk and it was not going to help me be more resilient. In fact, it would have done exactly the opposite. So I gave myself permission to be very frustrated, angry and sad (see stages of grief :) ) for as long as I needed to be able to reach the stage where I could genuinely say and feel ''what can I do about it?''.

 

 So...


  1. Learn to feel your feelings and not to push them away. Feelings are information and not allowing yourself to feel them almost always ends up in a big pile of stuff that at some point will explode, not to mention that you lose the opportunity of learning what you actually need.
  2. Build strong relationships: maintaining supportive relationships with friends, family, or a community can provide emotional support and a sense of belonging, which are important factors in developing and maintaining resilience. My friend immediately helped me build a training plan that involves no climbing, and rest assured that everyone from the gym knows ''I cannot climb for 3 months''.
  3. Enhance your ability to tackle challenges by improving your problem-solving skills. Break down problems into smaller steps, brainstorm solutions, and take action to address issues effectively.
  4. Prioritize self-care activities such as exercise, healthy eating, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being can help build resilience.
  5. Focus on developing a positive attitude and optimistic outlook. Practice gratitude, mindfulness, and positive self-talk to help shift your perspective and maintain a hopeful attitude during difficult times.
  6. Set realistic goals: break down your goals into manageable steps and work towards achieving them gradually. Setting realistic goals can help you build confidence, stay motivated, and navigate challenges more effectively.
  7. View failures and setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning. Reflect on past experiences, identify what you have learned, and use that knowledge to adapt and improve in the future.
  8. Don't hesitate to seek help from mental health professionals, counselors, or support groups if you are struggling with stress, anxiety, or other mental health challenges. Talking to a professional can provide you with valuable tools and strategies for building resilience.


Everyone goes through some degree of adversity at some point in their life, and it's worth being prepared so that you tackle those events coming out okay and perhaps stronger.


As for me...I'll keep training my upper body.












(1) Hu, T., Zhang, D. and Wang, J. (2015) ‘A meta-analysis of the Trait Resilience and Mental Health’, Personality and Individual Differences, 76, pp. 18–27. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2014.11.039. 

(2) Buikstra, E., Ross, H., King, C. A., Baker, P. G., Hegney, D., McLachlan, K., & Rogers Clark, C. (2010). The components of resilience—Perceptions of an Australian rural community. Journal of Community Psychology, 38(8), 975–991. doi:10.1002/jcop.20409

(3) Tugade, M. M., Fredrickson, B. L., & Barrett, L. F. (2004). Psychological resilience and positive emotional granularity: Examining the benefits of positive emotions on coping and health. Journal of Personality, 72, 1161–1190. doi:10.1111/j.1467 6494.2004.00294.x

      Mehta, M. H., Grover, R. L., DiDonato, T. E., & Kirkhart, M. W. (2019). Examining the Positive Cognitive Triad: A Link Between Resilience and Well-Being. Psychological Reports, 122(3), 776-788. https://doi.org/10.1177/0033294118773722

The Scientific Benefits of Journaling: Unlocking Mental and Emotional Well-being

by Anda Nitu • 6 July 2023
Why you should start a journal

Potrivirea perfecta: 7 sfaturi despre cum să alegi un terapeut bun

by site-1jlCuQ • 13 June 2023
În lumea agitată și solicitantă de astăzi, căutarea unui ajutor profesional in domeniul sanatii mintale a devenit tot mai comuna. Indiferent dacă te confrunți cu anxietate, depresie, probleme în relații sau pur și simplu dorești dezvoltare personală, găsirea terapeutului potrivit poate face o diferență semnificativă. Dar având în vedere că există atât de mulți terapeuți și modalități disponibile, cum il alegi pe cel care se potrivește cel mai bine nevoilor tale? În acest articol, îți voi oferi șapte sfaturi esențiale pentru a te ajuta să navighezi acest proces și să găsești un terapeut bun care te poate ghida în călătoria ta spre bunăstare emoțională. 1. Stabilește-ți nevoile și obiectivele: Înainte de a porni în căutarea unui terapeut, ia-ți timp să reflectezi asupra nevoilor și obiectivelor tale specifice. Cauti terapie pentru o problemă anume sau pentru o explorare mai amplă a sinelui? Identificarea obiectivelor tale te va ajuta să restrângi opțiunile și să găsești un terapeut specializat în domeniile relevante pentru tine. 2. Documentează-te asupra modalităților de terapie: Există diverse abordări terapeutice disponibile, cum ar fi terapia integrativa, cognitiv-comportamentală (CBT), terapia psihodinamică, terapia bazată pe conștientizare și altele. Investește timp în documentarea diferitelor modalități pentru a înțelege care abordare se potrivește cel mai bine preferințelor tale și cu care rezonezi cel mai mult. Această cunoaștere te va ajuta să pui întrebările potrivite în timpul procesului de selecție. 3. Caută recomandări: Întreabă prieteni, familie sau profesioniști în domeniul sănătății în care ai încredere, care ar putea avea experiență cu terapiea. Recomandările lor pot fi un punct de plecare valoros în căutarea ta. Totuși, ia în considerare că terapia este o călătorie profund personală și ceea ce funcționează pentru altcineva poate să nu funcționeze neapărat și pentru tine. Utilizează recomandările ca ghid, dar încrede-te în instinctele și preferințele tale atunci când iei decizia finală. 4. Verifică calificările și licențierea: Asigură-te că terapeuții pe care îi iei în considerare sunt licențiați și calificați să practice în țara sau regiunea ta. Caută diplome, certificări și afilieri la organizații profesionale de încredere. Aceste informații nu numai că indică expertiza lor, ci garantează și că respectă standardele etice și cele mai bune practici. 5. Ia în considerare specializarea și experiența terapeutului: Terapeuții se specializează adesea în domenii specifice, cum ar fi trauma, dependența, terapia de cuplu sau psihologia copiilor. Revizuiește site-ul terapeutului sau profilul profesional pentru a înțelege domeniile lor de expertiză. Dacă ai o preocupare particulară, caută terapeuți care au experiență în lucrul cu clienți care se confruntă cu provocări similare. Experiența poate fi un avantaj valoros în a te ajuta să navighezi prin emoții și situații complexe. 6. Evaluează stilul de comunicare și relația terapeut-client: Terapia este un proces de colaborare, iar o relație solidă cu terapeutul tău este esențială. În timpul consultației inițiale sau a primei ședințe, fii atent la stilul lor de comunicare, la căldură și empatie. Te ascultă activ? Te simți confortabil să te deschizi în fața lor? Ai încredere în instinctele tale și alege pe cineva cu care simți o conexiune autentică. 7. Evaluează aspectele logistice și considerațiile practice: Ia în considerare aspecte practice precum locația terapeutului, disponibilitatea și tarifele. Stabilește dacă preferi ședințe față în față sau dacă ești deschis să faci terapie la distanță sau online. Evaluează dacă programul lor se potrivește cu al tău și dacă tarifele se încadrează în bugetul tău. Accesibilitatea și conveniența joacă un rol crucial în experiența terapiei, deci nu neglija aceste aspecte. Alegerea unui terapeut bun este o decizie personală și adesea transformațională. Prin înțelegerea nevoilor tale, documentarea modalităților de terapie, căutarea de recomandări și evaluarea calificărilor și experienței, poți găsi un terapeut care se potrivește cu tine. Amintește-ți că terapia este o călătorie unică și găsirea terapeutului potrivit este un pas vital către vindecare, dezvoltare personală și bunăstare emoțională. Ai încredere în tine, fii răbdător și nu ezita să explorezi diferite opțiuni până când găsești potrivirea perfectă.

Finding the Perfect Fit: 7 Tips on How to Choose a Good Therapist

by Anda Nitu • 13 June 2023
In today's fast-paced and demanding world, seeking professional help through therapy has become increasingly common. Whether you're dealing with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, or simply want personal growth, finding the right therapist can make a world of difference. But with so many therapists and modalities available, how do you choose the one who best suits your needs? In this blog post, I will provide you with seven essential tips to help you navigate the process and find a good therapist who can guide you on your journey towards emotional well-being. 1. Determine your needs and goals: Before embarking on your search for a therapist, take some time to reflect on your specific needs and goals. Are you seeking therapy for a particular issue or a broader exploration of self? Identifying your objectives will help you narrow down your options and find a therapist who specializes in the areas most relevant to you. 2. Research different therapy modalities: There are various therapeutic approaches available, such as integrative psychotherapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), psychodynamic therapy, mindfulness-based therapy, and more. Take some time to research different modalities to understand which approach aligns with your preferences and resonates with you the most. This knowledge will empower you to ask the right questions during the selection process. 3. Seek recommendations and referrals: Reach out to friends, family, or trusted healthcare professionals who may have experience with therapy. Their recommendations can be a valuable starting point in your search. However, keep in mind that therapy is a deeply personal journey, and what works for someone else may not necessarily work for you. Use recommendations as a guideline but trust your instincts and preferences when making the final decision. 4. Check credentials and licensure: Ensure that the therapists you consider are licensed and qualified to practice in your country or region. Look for degrees, certifications, and affiliations with reputable professional organizations. This information not only indicates their expertise but also guarantees they adhere to ethical standards and best practices. 5. Consider the therapist's specialization and experience: Therapists often specialize in specific areas such as trauma, addiction, couples therapy, or child psychology. Review the therapist's website or professional profile to understand their areas of expertise. If you have a particular concern, look for therapists who have experience working with clients facing similar challenges. Experience can be a valuable asset in helping you navigate complex emotions and situations. 6. Assess their communication style and rapport: Therapy is a collaborative process, and a strong rapport with your therapist is essential. During your initial consultation or session, pay attention to their communication style, warmth, and empathy. Are they actively listening? Do you feel comfortable opening up to them? Trust your gut instincts and choose someone with whom you feel a genuine connection. 7. Evaluate logistics and practical considerations: Consider practical aspects such as the therapist's location, availability, and fees. Determine whether you prefer in-person sessions or if you're open to remote or online therapy. Evaluate if their schedule aligns with yours and if their fees fit within your budget. Accessibility and convenience play a crucial role in the overall therapy experience, so don't overlook these factors.  Choosing a good therapist is a personal and often transformative decision. By understanding your needs, researching therapy modalities, seeking recommendations, and evaluating credentials and experience, you can find a therapist who resonates with you. Remember, therapy is a unique journey, and finding the right therapist is a vital step towards healing, personal growth, and emotional well-being. Trust yourself, be patient, and don't hesitate to explore different options until you find the perfect fit.